So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
