bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
