I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
