I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize