The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
