Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
