i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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