i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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