dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
