oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize