In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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