that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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