if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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