I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
