Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
