dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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