Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were trust falling into bushes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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