At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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