I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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