The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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