Don't you send me to vm
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
