those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
