I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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