it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
