i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
