dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
