you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
