I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
