wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
