so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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