i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
