just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have aggressive nipples.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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