Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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