Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
