I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
