went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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