Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
