Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
