question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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