1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
