Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
