That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drunk is not a location!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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