I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
