even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
