i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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