you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Randomize
