And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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