I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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