all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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