We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
People in love make me want to vomit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
