Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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