He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's the barista slut.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
