So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
