We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
