i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He did a backflip because drugs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
