She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize