another moral hangover. fuck.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
