lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
