I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
