I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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