Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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